Questions Answered: When Does Shyness become Sinfulness?

Often people relate their emotions to just being a part of their personality. This is especially true about uncomfortable parts of someone’s personality. If a person is grouchy or off-putting, that behavior is often excused by friends as just a personality quirk. The same can be said about shyness. Shyness is regularly excused in teenagers and adults as “just a personality quirk.” It’s accepted and often expected in children and excused as a natural reaction to an unfamiliar or uncomfortable situation. But is it natural and should it be so easily accepted and excused?

All of us have been shy at one time or another. Many people would consider themselves to be shy. I think we all know someone that w would describe as shy. So, here's a question: can shyness be sinful, and if so, when does shyness become sinfulness?

Defining Shyness:In humans, shyness (also called diffidence) is a social psychology term used to describe the feeling of apprehension, lack of confidence, or awkwardness experienced when a person is in proximity to, approaching, or being approached by other people, especially in new situations or with unfamiliar people. Shyness may come from personality introversion, genetic traits, or the environment in which a person is raised. (from wikipedia)

To discover when shyness becomes sinfulness we need to take the mask off of shyness.
What is really going on when shyness takes over? What is the foundation of shyness? Where does it come from? Why does an outgoing and happy person suddenly run for cover at the first uncomfortable situation? In short, why are we shy?

Let's take the mask of shyness by exploring how it is based in 3 areas that lean toward sinfulness.

Shyness is Low Self-Esteem (AKA-Lack of Confidence)
The lie of self-esteem: Self-esteem is just the world’s way of telling you that you’re not good enough but it’s up to you to make yourself good enough. The very popular and oft taught idea of self-esteem is in direct contradiction to the Truth of Christ.
Philippians 3:3-we are not supposed to put any confidence in the flesh.
Ephesians 2:8-10-Our worth is not based in ourselves but in Christ alone and that worth does not grow or diminish.

When you walk around in shyness based on low self-esteem you reject the worth that Christ alone has paid into our lives by his death. In this we are sinning in our shyness. Reject the world's idea of self-esteem and embrace the only true worth that exists-Christ-esteem.

Shyness is Fear
Often depending on self-confidence that just isn’t there can lead to the 2nd face of shyness: fear. This is especially true in children. It’s expected and excused in children. But then it creeps into our lives as teens and adults and can become paralyzing. Again, there is a problem with fear as it relates to Christians living lives of trust in Christ and his Word.
2 Timothy 1:7-8a-In Christ there is no place for a lifestyle of fear or low self-confidence because we have been given power
Isaiah 41:10-if we have confidence in God’s truth then we will not fear

When you walk around in shyness based on fear you are rejecting the promises and power of God in your life.

Shyness is Selfishness
If we are honest with ourselves we will see the 3rd face of shyness is the one that usually appears. There have been a lot of times where we’ve done things we didn’t think we could do or done things that scare us, but when selfishness creeps in we’ll appeal to shyness to avoid having to do something we just don’t want to do.

I call this “manufactured shyness for personal comfort”. That means it’s not really shyness, it’s just a convenient excuse to not do what you don’t want to do.

This is the pinnacle of pride: putting your desires above someone else and even above God’s desires for your life. We know that God hates pride and deception (Proverbs 6:16-17) so it’s easy to see how this “manufactured shyness” is sinful.

How could shyness impact ministry and these good works that God has created us for?

Shyness as low self-esteem-”I Can’t”
Shyness as fear-”I’m scared”
Shyness as selfishness-”I don’t want to”

The excuse of shyness when it relates to ministry results in a failure to witness, a failure to encourage new believers, a failure to teach, a failure to pray, a failure to volunteer and multiple other ministry crippling failures. I do not deny that shyness is a part of some people's nature (it's even a part of mine) but I do deny that shyness is ever a valid excuse to avoid engaging in ministry. God knows your propensity toward shyness when he calls you to a ministry opportunity and promises power, courage, confidence and everything we need for every good work he calls us to do.

The next time you feel and urging by the Holy Spirit or are encouraged by a spiritiual leader to do something and you feel shyness creeping in, check it up and make sure your shyness is not just a cover/excuse for lack of confidence, fear or selfishness.